That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
