We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
NoShamevember. You game?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
