Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
there was a trapeze. enough said
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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