I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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