Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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