I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
