all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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