Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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