I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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