I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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