i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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