do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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