We're facebook friends in real life
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
