Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
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even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
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Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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