i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
