Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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