so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
