sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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