No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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