DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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