I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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