college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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