omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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