I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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