hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How naked do you want me to be?
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