he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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