p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
