Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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