Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
