New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
