My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
