it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize