I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
MIDGETS
????
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
