He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize