A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
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I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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