Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
