ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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