There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
