I think I just saw someone hide a body.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
