Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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