I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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