dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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