craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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