I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you had me at cake vodka
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
