she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
