it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.