Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14509) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking. http://tfl.nu/jegd
  Replies (7) Good night (2384) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (7971) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while. http://tfl.nu/n1x9
  Replies (24) Good night (5321) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either. http://tfl.nu/j4vn
  Replies (5) Good night (3726) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  where are you?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Hypothermia

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): where are you? (240): Hypothermia http://tfl.nu/1rtk
  Replies (20) Good night (2191) Bad night (3943)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Who are you high with right now?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it. (513): Who are you high with right now? http://tfl.nu/0n4i
  Replies (11) Good night (2011) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship. http://tfl.nu/02yh
  Replies (3) Good night (1331) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today. http://tfl.nu/hnp2
  Replies (12) Good night (6387) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy
  Replies (9) Good night (1369) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good http://tfl.nu/2hdv
  Replies (8) Good night (1926) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall http://tfl.nu/p5vc
  Replies (7) Good night (435) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar. http://tfl.nu/4gsa
  Replies (0) Good night (487) Bad night (145)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right? http://tfl.nu/v6f6
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (142)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (184)

Randomize