And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'