isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
