We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
