Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
FUCK WHALES
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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