my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
