Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
