you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
