fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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