The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
