you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
