i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
