She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm like, not good at living.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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