I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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