New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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