The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
