Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
