Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
are you so shy because you have an std?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
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How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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