I just threw up on my dentist
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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