i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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