If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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