so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
