Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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